A 1:1 meeting is a fundamental tool in a manager’s toolkit. When I work with clients on their effectiveness, I often check how my client (and frequently the managers they work with as CEO) conducts their one-on-one meetings. The results of this exercise can be surprising and serve as an excellent litmus test for both managerial competence and organizational health.
Purpose of the One-on-One Meetings
The 1:1 meeting should serve the meeting owner in any helpful way. The owner, of course, is not the manager but his contributor. Generally, the outcome achieved during the meeting is problem-solving, broadly understood development, and the well-being of the meeting owner. Sometimes, we make decisions. Throughout my career, I have participated in hundreds of 1:1 meetings with dozens of people across various topics.
1:1 meeting – examples
I have spent several 1:1 meetings dedicating a significant portion to supporting a coworker’s wedding planning process. I had been through that experience—my coworker had not—and it was a critical process that required help from someone who had navigated it. Without this help, my coworkers might not perform their duties effectively, as they would be preoccupied with wedding planning. Naturally, I didn’t initiate the conversation about this unusual work-related topic, but addressing it strengthened my coworker’s productivity.
Very often, coworkers request specific feedback on elements of their work or ask questions about issues that interest them in the agenda sent before the meeting. Providing input on emails, documents, decision-making processes, or planning are among the most common topics in my 1:1s.
As a manager, you know you are doing an excellent job in a 1:1 meeting when it is enriching for the other person (ask about this!) and when you demonstrate a high level of engagement. A side effect of this approach is a better relationship with team members—people generally respect those who try to teach them something.
Owner of the One-on-One Meeting
The owner of the 1:1 meeting is the team member, not their manager. This setup empowers the team members, allowing them to drive the meeting’s agenda and outcomes. Managers monopolizing 1:1s is a common management mistake. If necessary, organize another meeting or add an agenda item as a last resort, but don’t make this a rule.
This setup has many advantages:
- People lower in the hierarchy should have more free time from those above them, making it easier for them to define the agenda than for managers.
- Those individuals are generally closer to the problems and clients than managers and possess more complete information. Their proximity to the issues and their comprehensive understanding make their input invaluable. The CEO often learns everything last, but employees also learn before those in managerial positions. A coworker has one manager, while a manager typically has many people reporting to them, which complicates finding time to reasonably plan a 1:1 meeting.
Planning the 1:1 Meeting
The meeting owner defines a short agenda, ideally 1-2 days before the meeting, so that preparation is possible. This practice allows the team members to focus on their most pressing issues, ensures that the meeting is productive, and gives the manager insight into the team members’ priorities. The manager can accept it (or not) and sometimes add an item from themselves.
One-on-One Meeting with Employees – Frequency and Duration
Contrary to handbooks, the correct frequency for meetings with people reporting to us must be established. Some of my direct reports have 1:1s with me once a month, once a week, or once every two weeks.
It’s also perfectly fine for the frequency of 1:1 meetings to change during various stages of a professional relationship. Such meetings often increase during onboarding periods or particularly challenging times in a company or project.
I advocate for hour-long 1:1s but have also encountered those that last 45 minutes. I have never had 30-minute 1:1 meetings, but some coworkers swear they are sometimes worthwhile. Remember that you can always end early.
1:1 Meetings with Someone Other Than the Direct Supervisor
A good practice during onboarding includes 1:1 meetings with all team members and managers from adjacent teams. Depending on the role and the interaction scale with other teams, it is reasonable to include non-managerial people from different teams who will be significantly involved in working with the new person.
What Not to Do in 1:1 Meetings?
These meetings should be a cheerful, warm moment in the week. If it’s not the case that people leave the meeting with you feeling less tense (generally), then something needs to be fixed. I often observe two mistakes made in such meetings.
Canceling or being late to meetings
When scheduled, we arrive on time. If something prevents us from attending a meeting, rather than canceling, we should reschedule it. Frequent rescheduling or, worse, canceling 1:1s by the manager sends a negative signal to the team member. No one wants to feel that “there are more important matters than you” or “other issues deserve my time more than you.” It’s much better tolerated when a coworker cancels a meeting, although if this happens too often, it’s also a reason to check if something inappropriate is going on.
“Venting” in meetings
Former COO of Yahoo, Dan Rosensweig, once said, “Every organization is terrible; it’s just a question of how.” Unfortunately, the lack of acceptance of this simple truth makes it difficult for coworkers to focus on solutions. It terrorizes (exceptionally less experienced) managers with complaints, revisiting long-closed topics, reporting on worse and less capable coworkers, and so forth. Managers are not punching bags or therapists to vent to, and such lowering of communication standards within the team must not be allowed.
Good Practices for 1:1 Meetings
1. A simple and often underestimated tactic for 1:1 meetings is asking good questions and listening attentively. The people reporting to us can teach us much if we only allow them to.
2. Another good practice is holding meetings while walking. The lack of such meetings is the most significant disadvantage of remote work. If you don’t need to look at data on screens and are in the exact location—get outside! Moreover, even before remote work, I often hired people during walking interviews. It’s also possible during remote work—ensure you have a good headset and are not in an open space where the wind interferes with the microphone, making it hard to understand what you’re saying.
3. Take notes during the 1:1 and send them to each other after the meeting. This habit serves as an excellent reminder and ensures continuity in 1:1 meetings. Additionally, it allows you to revisit topics from six months ago with minimal loss of understanding of what you previously discussed. A lack of notes sometimes indicates a poorly conducted 1:1, but if the meeting generated actions you want to follow up on, it’s worth noting to return to the topic in the next meeting.
Questions to Ask During a One-on-One Meeting with Employee
Sometimes, we can complete the agenda in 15 minutes. In such scenarios, asking good, open-ended questions can be beneficial.
My favorite questions for 1:1s (but please don’t treat this as a checklist to tick off):
- How are you doing on a scale from 1 to 10?
- What is troubling you right now? Where do you need support?
- What task irritates you the most right now?
- Is there something you’d like to talk about?
- Is there anything blocking or limiting you?
- How would you rate the past week from 1 to 10?
- What do you most want to develop in yourself right now? How are you working on that?
- Are you receiving enough feedback?
- Do our goals still make sense?
- What should I do more of?
- What should I do less of?
- What do you think I should stop doing?
- What made you happiest this week?
